We'll it took us 24 hours to travel from Darjeeling to Kathmandu in Nepal. The last leg of the journey from the border to the capital was an overnight bus and it was horrendous. This little bus is actually on a truck bed and so has very hard suspension, it also provides its passengers with absolutely no leg room.

To make it worse, the couple in front insisted on fully reclining their seats back and the drunk behind singing to us, that is when the driver didnt't have the radio on full blast.

The journey proved to be qutie eventful, at around 1am when we'd given up all hope of sleep and had started to doze, we were woken by the smashing of the front windscreen, the bus didn't stop and a local nepalise guy explained later that it had been smashed by local insurgents!.

Early in the morning however Rich claims to have seen a naked western woman walking along the road although to be honest I think he may have been hallucinating.

Welcome to Nepal!! - country number 16 on our trip!

We arrived in Kathmandu early on Sunday morning, checked into a nice and cheap hotel, showered and slept for the best part of the day. Monday was also a local festival day, this ensured that our sightseeing around Durbar square included a buffalo being sacrificed in front of a hindu temple and the living goddess being paraded around the centre. We also found me spiritual home (see below) and watched the production of an Indian music video. Below are some photos of Kathmandu for you to enjoy!!

We have decided to go trekking around Annapurna so today has been spent preparing and kitting ourselves out. We plan to go on the 20 day trek on Friday, mountains here we come (think Rich might need some help though!!!!)

We'll I didn't expect Chennai to be that great, it is afterall simply a working class Indian city with little to attract the tourist, but honestly it was a complete an utter cesspit. It was filthy and smelly and incredibly chaotic. I have never wanted to leave somewhere so much in my entire life. Thankfully we were only there for one night and that's enough said about the place.

The next day we caught the train to Kolkata (Calcutta) and shared our train cabin with an old guy who spent the entire journey bossing his meak wife around and a middle aged guy who constantly burped and belched, to such an extent that it soon became socially acceptable for everyone around us to do the same. Now I know I'm not the most tolerant of people but add this to a 9 hour delay making our train journey 35 hours in total and as you can imagine by now I'm not in the best of moods. Rich managed however to escape and enjoyed the sunshine on the train platform where he met a 10 year old Bengali boy who spoke excellent english and was keen to understand about the countries we had visited on our journey. In return he gave Rich lots of tips about what to do in the city (including an excellent ice cream parlour recommendation). Needless to say by the end of the journey they were the best of friends.

We arrived in Kolkata at around 10pm and caught an Ambassador taxi (bit like an old Rolls Royce) to the tourist/cheap hotel district of Sudder St. Thankfully we had just enough time to find somewhere to stay and grab some food before everything shut up at 11pm. Kolkata is much better than Chennai, and probably best described as a bit poorer/dirtier Mumbai in my opinion. We were there for 4 days in total, highlights included enjoying a traditional pot of tea in the grounds of Fairlawn hotel - a hotel owned by a British couple which has not changed since the days of the British Raj. Drinking cocktails in perhaps the coolest bar we've ever been too in a five star hotel along the trendy Park Street (exception maybe the Fashion Bar in Romania). Watching crowds queue to get into McDonalds with the same fever as shoppers hitting the January sales (OK not quite a highlight but fascinating all the same - it was the first one to open in the state and was only 2 days old). On the downside there was the naked beggar who just wandered the streets scavaging for food from bins and a market which whilst looking a bit like covent garden was so awful that we both wanted to leave the moment we'd walked in.

Nevertheless we decided to take the Sleeper train to Darjeeling having previously travelled 2AC and 3AC. The fare was a third of the price - what had we let ourselves in for!!!. Actually it was fine the beds were a bit thinner and there were no pillows or sheets but that was about it. We shared the 'foreigner cabin' with 3 spannish girls and had a policeman complete with guns sitting in the carriage next door! - so as the Indian guys wandered by to stare at us Western women showing flesh (ie ankles and shoulders) they were promptly moved on, as were the transvestites that came to say hello - but hey no belching!!!.

We decided against travelling the Darjeeling Toy train (9 hours) and got a jeep instead (3 hours). Darjeeling is about 2100 metres above sea level and should provide amazing views of the Himalayas but sadly its been too foggy. Its a built up city on a steep hill with lots of steps - but this is OK as its our first taste of exercise before Nepal. Accomodation here is cheap so we've upgraded to a nicer hotel room complete with duvets - the weather here is much the same as back home a mere 13 degrees during the day. On our second day here we went to visit the zoo and Himalayan mountain institute, a few hours later it started to rain, so we sought shelter, but it continued to rain and got heavier and heavier, then came the thunder and lightning and hale. About an hour later we've accepted our fate and know that we'll have to walk the 2.5km back to our hotel and get drenched. Which we did - soaked to the core we were (our shoes are still damp) and whats more the roads were completely flooded with sewage as well as rain water!. We dried off but a power cut mean't no hot water for the rest of the day. The rain didn't stop until well into the evening and so we spent the day cocooned in our hotel room.

Yesterday we went for a joyride on the steam train which was fun, we also learned that if you stand too close you'll get covered in coal and steam - as Rich is demonstrating. We also enjoyed

a very British afternoon tea (complete with cakes), visited a tea plantation and learnt all about the different qualities of tea. Naturally we have bought some for our tea loving families to enjoy when we get back home. Our favourite was the complimentary cup of white tea we were given - it was really nice so we thought we'd get some, the price though was about seven pounds for 50g.

Today we joined the Tea Planters club and are honary members for the day (once the preserve only of aristocrats) and here's a picture of Rich enjoying a cup of Darjeeling. Tomorrow we will head off to Nepal.

Well, we've reached our southerly most point in India at Varkala beach, and are heading back up north tonight. We're off to Chennai (Madras) for a day before continuing up to Calcutta. It's probably about time too as the heat and humidity are starting to get oppressive down here (38 yesterday!).

In Aleppy we met up with an English guy and decided to share a 24 hour backwater cruise. These aren't cheap, but was probably the most pleasant thing we've done in india - floating down palm lined waterways, eating superb fresh food with cold kingfishers to hand. The guy who owned the boat was also from england - he'd emigrated here with almost no money to build an eco friendly boat in return for visa support from the keralan govenment. The boat wasn't quite finished but he's running it to raise the cash to complete the project at which point he gets to sell all the designs. All this talk got me thinking - the diesel engine powering the boat was too noisy I thought. Hmmm, what if you could build an internal combustion engine that ran off continuous combustion? It would need a compression, combustion and exhaust stage. Well you can achieve that with a supercharger and combustion chamber and you could power the supercharger off the exhaust turbine blah blah blah etc etc shit i've just invented the gas turbine! Damn I'm clever. Shame it's 80 years too late...

After the boat we got another boat down to Kollam, a pretty dull backwater town in the middle of the backwaters. We stopped a night before heading down to Varkala. Getting the bus almost caused Grapes to burst a blood vessel - I asked the bus driver if he was going to Varkala to which he said he was, but even before we could get on he'd started driving off. Grapes got him to stop by hammering on the side of the bus. Once on the conductor told us that actually the bus didn't go to Varkala at all and we'd have to change (which was actually no problem at all). Thankfully Varkala has proved nice and relaxing but I think India is getting to Grapes and she needs a change!

Varkala itself is a string of restaurants and hotels along the top of a cliff with a smallish beach below. It is very picturesque but the beach has a reputation as being one of the most dangerous in India! Having been for a few swims I can probably agree. The waves are massive - a bit like being in a washing machine and the rips are really strong. They have full time lifeguards here and the day before we arrived a couple of people got swept out (but rescued).

We met loads of cool people here (it has one of the best so called "traveller vibes" I've experienced) and I even met a guy from Burnham-on-Sea! Poor chap. Possibly the funniest guy we met was the 40something alcoholic stoner who's ambition is to build a shed. The food here is pretty good too - plenty of cheap seafood and even some Thai approximations which aren't too wide of the mark. Like most places in Kerala no bars are licensed so beer is served in a teapot with a couple of mugs and they shut when the last person leaves. Having said that I'm starting to get a little tired of rapidly warming Kingfisher with all the rubbish that they put in. The stuff they have here would probably be illegal in the UK!

Hmmm, lunch was McDonalds... (not the best when you both have the shits)

Took the train down to Fort Cochin in Kerala. It's a former colonial outpost which most western powers had a go at at some time. This actually makes it a rather interesting place. That is if you find walking around aspirational London suburbs interesting, but it is when you're in India. The weather down here is sooper hot, and the humidity is coming up as well. Apparently in less that a month it'll be unbearable down here so our impending escape to Nepal will probably be in the nick of time.

While in Cochin we decided to see a Kathakali performance. It's a local traditional dance that usually takes place overnight. We got the 2 hour tourist taster but as with the camel ride, what seems like being short changed actually turns out to be quite enough thankyou! The costumes are spectacular, and the fervour that the performers whip themselves up into is frightening but there's almost no dialogue other than sign language and facial expression. When you don't understand what's going on it starts to get a little (shall we say) tiresome. However, it's still a worthwhile cultural experience. For those that want to know, here's the plot summary (as told over 2 hours):

Archer bloke is very proud of his skills
God disguises himself and beats him in a duel.
Archer bloke repents his egotism.
The. End.

We've now moved down to Aleppy, where we have scored our lowest price accommodation yet, at around 2.50GBP. It's a lovely clean room with ensuite, close to the centre and even the owner seems quite nice (we beat him down from 2.75GBP! ;-). This beats our previous record set in Cochin of 3 pounds! Another thing we like about Kerala is that the rickshaw drivers are more reasonable, and on some occasions have even started out on the right price!!! Maybe the heat is too much for arguing.

We're off to the beach now, with the Lying Planet's ominous comment that going into the water is "dangerous"... We'll let you know. Presumably that's not "dangerous" in the same sense as going into a wave pool with a couple of hundred hormonal indian teenagers. Ah the scars will take a while to heal...

We'll the bus trip was awful, to start we were at the back of the bus, on the top bunker and the road was very bumpy. Our 'two berth' was actually the size of a short single bed which was just about OK for me, but poor Rich could neither sit up or lie down and so spent most of the journey standing and chatting to other travellers. We didn't have the worst seat though, some unfortunate traveller got the seat over a wheel with absolutely no leg room!. Each time the bus went over a bump, which was probably about every 15 seconds we were literally thrown around in our bunk, oh and the 10 hour journey turned out to be just over 12 - it was great!!!!. Naturally we have now vowed not to use another long distance bus and will stick to trains in future.

Ok so we arrived in Hampi at about 8am, the bus was full of westerners and as it pulled into the bus stand we were greated by about 50 rickshaws and touts all wanting to take you to their hotel. Luckily we escaped the madness and found our own hotel room very easily. It was smart and clean and we thought we'd done well, that was until 2 days later the owner gave Rich a lecture because we'd not used his restaurant (looked a bit manky) "not good business sir". Added to the fact that we'd also learned that the traveller epicentre was on the other side of the river (beer and meat available), we saw red and promptly moved.

Anyhow about Hampi, its quite strange being a town full of boulders and ruins, we hired a motorbike (this time it didnt attack me!) and drove around to get our bearings. We saw most of the main sites by simply driving around them, imagine scrambling on a bike around Stonehenge and you'll get the picture. On our second day we decided to hire bikes and cycle around the rest, the bikes sadly weighed a tonne, had no gears (making hills tough) we're not big enough for Rich (his seat kept sliding forward) nor were any of the bolts fastened (we did this ourselves with the help of Rich's swiss arm knife). Nevertheless we really enjoyed Hampi, but personally I think Rich's favourite bit was wading across the river that separated the town from our accomodation (saving about 10 pence each by avoiding the boat crossing).

After 3 days we left Hampi and got the train to Bangalore. As a city there is little to see and do, but it is quite affluent by Indian standards and therefore has some good bars and restaurants. To quote the LP "Bangalore doesn't party darling it lounges". Nevertheless we found the hippiest joint Taika and tried to 'lounge' with the best of them. Sadly Rich was wearing his shorts and sandals so we initially were only allowed in the bar and not the club, but were then let in at 11pm for free. Great we thought having sipped cocktails for the last hour or so, sadly it was no different to the average club in the UK and closed at 11.30pm!!! In fact forget Woods all of Bangalore comes to a halt at 11.30pm.

Yesterday we went to 'Wonder La' a water/theme park just outside of Bangalore, naturally it wasn't quite as good as somewhere like Alton Towers but we had lots of fun. We'd taken our swimming gear but soon realised that Indians cover up and were changing out of Saris and into tracksuits. Suddenly being the only westerners and me having taken a bikini, didnt seem such a great idea. So as the saying goes "When in Rome...." and all that I bought some jogging bottoms and we both kept wore t-shirts. The water park was great fun there were lots of cool slides, far better than any i've seen in the UK and of course the climate here is perfect for such a park.

Today we're just hanging around Bangalore before catching a train this evening to Cochin in Kerala, which is the backwaters of India and apparently quite chilled. Bangalore has been good for a short stop-over, the only downside has been the rickshaw drivers who hassle you at every street corner and want to rip you off at every opportunity, for example agreeing a fare in advance means nothing, they will still ask for double when you arrive at your destination. Naturally we've stood our ground but it has become very tiresome and frustrating so I think today's the right time to leave.

Anyhow hope you're all well, we're off to find some lunch now..........